Picking Yourself Back Up

Previously from the category On Life

Let’s get on the topic of a particular type of inspiration. I’m talking about inspiration that’s derived, or should be derived, from various pain. Of course, we’ve all been in a certain situation that leaves you lying in the dirt with blood and bruises to show for it, and for those of you who haven’t, it’s coming, just wait. For some it could be losing a great job, a general opportunity, or someone you care about through different means. Whether these are emotional, physical, or spiritual, there is always a great deal of something good that can be gained from the experience.

First things first, learn to laugh in the face of discomfort and discord. So the person you’ve been dating for eight months dumps you, you just lost the opportunity to study at one of the best schools for the field you’re interested in, and now you’re getting chased through the woods, of what your missing friend had thought was an abandoned property, by a guy with an axe. Too cliché you might say, but these things happen every day. Well, save the neanderthal with a weapon, but you get the idea.

Laughing in the face of a frightening, painful, or downright horrifying experience will give you the courage to think ‘What if?’

What if this partner was really just a lesson to be learned in order to prepare myself for future relationships?

What if this school wasn’t the right choice in the first place and the next best choice will be more beneficial to the cause I want to commit to?

What if he’s not chasing me, but chasing something in the direction in which I just happen to be running? He could be wielding the last silver axe belonging to a long bloodline of men who’ve kept the werewolf population down in this particular region of the country for centuries.

The point is, when you see the possibilities that could stem from your failure, you’re already starting to turn the pain and fear into something that can influence you for the better.

Don’t dwell on the fact that you’re not gonna have that person in your personal life anymore; instead, revel in the fact that you’re single, you’re able, and maybe it’s time to just build onto yourself for a while, come what may.

Forget about the entitlement that may have come along with going to this school and just focus on the fact that you can even afford an education with all of the scholarships you’ve earned.

Are you really still scared of this scrawny guy? Chances are that werewolves don’t exist, but what does exist is that limp that you saw Mr. Gremlinface with before the chase broke out. He’s been living on pork and beans his entire life while you’ve recently gotten a gym membership. You can take the little bastard, but just remember to duck that first swing and go for his chicken legs. Center of Gravity 101.

All joking aside, when you get to this point in your life it’s very easy to lie down and point fingers at everyone else. Reforming your mind and shaping your imagination to look at your own situation, as if you were a person on the outside looking in, can drastically increase your chances of honing on a solution to the issue rather than dwelling upon it. Learning to take control and tell yourself ‘this isn’t over until I say it’s over’ can really become the long term game-changer in your life, your relationships, and especially in those split-second decision moments.

Once you get this skill down it becomes easier and easier to get on with your life during the painful moments. It may sound a bit insensitive, but the truth is that your time on this earth is finite no matter who you date, what college you attend, or whether Chicken Legs had that limp or not. Wasting time, energy, and the pain itself can prove to take a long-term effect on your overall performance in whatever comes next. So If you’re still having trouble coping with these things, fret not. Something that refuses to get off of your mind in just a few days time is something that is fuel-worthy, and that’s the best part about pain.

Giving an example, last year I had a pretty bad breakup. After having someone important vanish out of my life for good, and without explanation, I started searching for answers (not in a stalking, obsessive way either). I started to look for answers within myself. This was extremely rewarding because all I wanted were beautiful moments back in my life where they had left, so I began taking photos again. I found something beautiful in that pain, and in the two months that followed I visited eight different state parks, took thousands of photos, sharpened my post-processing skills, and came face-to-face with some amazing parts of nature. Using pain from circumstance was something that I had done in the past on countless occasions, but this event in particular was the one that showed me there is beauty in everything, good or bad. No matter the weight of it or the sorrow it brings, it can be turned into the fuel that drives you to your next destination and gives you the fortitude to know what to do when you get there.

Now, you may be asking, “what qualifies him to speculate on such things?” After all, I could just be an obese man dwelling in the confines of my mother’s basement and feeding you a bunch of bullshit. Some are capable of making up these things without even trying; their imagination is really just that good. I can personally assure you that I’m not in my mother’s basement, but what is assurance without evidence? That being said, in the next few weeks I’ll be giving you some of my own stories that helped me pull myself back up, and who knows, they may inspire you to rethink your outlook when it comes to those painful situations in your own life and help give birth to inspiration to do something amazing.

Lastly, I just want to give everyone a huge show of appreciation for taking the time to read the very first post on Quarterstories. Everyone has to start somewhere, and as a young writer I couldn’t really think of a better way to write often as well as get critical feedback on the work that I’m doing than just diving straight into it. Thank you guys so much for tuning into Quarterstories and I hope to see you next week.

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