As we were driving a getaway car from a bank robbery the other day, my good friend asked me, “You ever feel like some professions are just too greedy?”
“Of course,” I said as we sped around the corner, sirens wailing in the distance.
“Well,” he said questioningly.
Well, what,” I asked.
“What are the professions you think are a bit too greedy,” he asked again while the police were cuffing us after the car had sputtered to a stop.
“Most would say the business man, claiming that he has way too much money; however, if they really knew how the business man’s life worked, they may not be so envious.”
“Why’s that,” he asked.
“Well, think about how lonely he must be. If a business man spends the majority of his lives pursuing money, he definitely has some, but he may not have much else. He’s probably very lonely and doesn’t even know how to form a relationship unless it’s in a business setting,” I said as the judge exclaimed in a cold voice, “ACCESSORY TO CRIME,” banging her gavel.
“What’s the next one,” he asked.
“Hmmm, I can’t really think of another obvious one.”
“Why not the people we were helping escape with the money,” he said. “They’re as greedy as they come.”
“Of course they are, but you have to think: if they were smart enough to escape, perhaps they deserve what they take. Either that or the cops aren’t getting paid enough to care about their jobs.”
“And what about the ones we drove for,” he asked. “What about the ones that don’t make it out and have to get locked up?”
“They may be greedy, but it’s a perfect example of how crime doesn’t pay,” I said as we rode the white bus to the big house.
“Okay,” he said. “Any other profession you feel is too greedy?”
“I was going to pick religion.”
“Wow now, watch where you step,” he said looking up at the while we sat on the bleachers of the yard.
“I know, I know,” I said. “You can’t deny that they do take your money, time, your spirituality, and your soul, too, from what I hear.”
“True, but can’t deny that religion has helped a lot of people who have been lost to substance and what have you,” he said.
“I know. It just comes to show that sometimes there is a certain amount of fairness in the cosmos I suppose” I said as the second jury found us not guilty.
“So, you still haven’t told me what you believe is the most greedy profession,” he said as we packed out things from the cell.
“Telemarketers,” I said. “Because they take up your time, break your spirit, ask soul-crushing questions, and somehow they still end up with your money. All the while you’re the new owner of an overpriced George Foreman grill.”
“You really tend to overthink things,” He said as we were walking out of the fenced in yard.
“I didn’t overthink not putting gas in the getaway car, knowing that the investigators would find out and realize that I had done it on purpose to help them catch the bad guys, did I,” I asked.
“Wait, what,” he asked.