Previously from the category On Life
Dr. Abraham J. Twerski, a physiatrist, author of more than sixty books, and founder of the Gateway Rehab Center has dedicated the majority of his life to helping those struggling to overcome addiction and seeking to gain back insight within their lives. The purpose of this article is to discuss the opinions of and pay due respects to Dr. Twerski and his many accomplishments in the field of psychiatry.
This week’s article on Motivation and Inspiration will go over Dr. Twerski’s opinion on the subject of anger. This emotion seems to put us all in a stranglehold at times, twisting our realities until we’re left broken and wondering what has happened, but fear not.
It can be helped.
Dr. Twerski breaks down anger into three different phases: Anger, Rage, and Resentment. The next few paragraphs will break down these phases and give some advice on how they can be handled better during those times of doubt that we all have in ourselves.
The 3 Phases
Anger is something that will come and go in your life, and sometimes we struggle to understand why we feel this way. So how we you change it so that anger doesn’t become such a burden in our day-to-day life?
To beat anything, it’s important to understand how it works.
– Anger Itself
Picture this: you’re walking down the hallway of your school, business, or even your house. Someone purposefully bumps you, and you know, or believe you know, for a fact that they did this on purpose.
This is where you begin to feel a bit distraught, and BOOM, you’re angry. So, what can you do about this?
There are two answers to the question:
The first is that you will never be able to stop your anger. You’re human and it’s an emotion that you’d never be able to live without. You can, however, teach yourself lessons from feeling this emotion, lessons that resonate in many parts of your life.
The second answer is the training of your mind, when you’re self-aware that you’re feeling such an emotion, to react in a more positive way.
Dr. Twerski describes his father’s teachings, stating that you should feel pity for such a person that excerpts such energy to make you angry, simply because they’re foolish.
Feeling sorry for someone during this time of anger doesn’t mix well. Showing pity for such a fool after you’ve recognized the emotion will help ease the emotion away, better helping you understand that this world will always be sending fools your way.
– The Rage
Now, let’s say you’re too easy to fly past the feeling of anger and immediately have a need to react to this emotion. This phase is known as rage.
When rage comes, it invariably comes in many different shapes and sizes; no two reactions are the same. When you feel this surge and want to do something about it it’s important to remember that actions have consequences.
The best part about rage is this: unlike anger, rage is a choice.
The thoughts that linger in your mind after someone else’s actioned can be tempered, no pun intended, in a good way and shaped to not be so ugly when the time comes. This needs to be done so if you feel the need for rage you can express it in a way that doesn’t spread the harm to someone else.
– Resentment (The Carried Weight)
Resentment is the length of time you hold onto anger. From experience, I can tell you that it’s something that’s all too easy to carry, and it is something that will need to be carried.
If you’re holding on to anger, it’s added baggage that’s unnecessary.
Dr. Twerski recalls his lessons in alcoholics anonymous when the third phase of anger comes to mind. If I’m being honest, it’s the better metaphorical advice that I’ve heard when it comes to holding onto anger.
He says, “Harboring your resentment is allowing someone you don’t like to stay in your head without paying any rent.”
Allowing something to get to you will only further your downfall and cause unnecessary heartache. Sometimes it’s much easier to simply let it go.
It’s a clique, I know, but it’s a clique because it’s true.
Last I’d like to just say that anger is something that everyone will handle differently. If yours is in check and you’re doing good, awesome.
If not, start looking out for those moments where you can’t help it, and exercise more discipline. Keep in mind that anger is a primal thing, and keeping it in check will get you further than throwing fits of rage because of it.
I’d like to also thank Dr. Twerski for his services and I implore you to check out a few of his books. His work is both thought-provoking and strikes the core when it comes to the nature of us homo sapiens.